Two weeks ago, I was part of a concert my singing teacher organised.
Some of us played the piano and some of us sang.
I discovered a couple of things while attending this concert.
1. Despite the fact that I’ve been singing in front of people since I was twelve, this was harder than I thought it would be.
Generally, I sing songs I’ve written and hide behind my trusty guitar. Take the guitar away and suddenly, a vital question poses itself.
What the heck do I do with my hands????
2. Despite the fact that I sing in front of people several dozen times a year at church, singing in front of strangers was more of a challenge than I thought it would be.
Nameless faces can do palpitation wonders if you’re ever unsure of how efficient you heart is. It’s fairly usual for me to get a few BOO-BOOM BOO-BOOMs before I get up to sing, but once I start I’m dandy Sandy.
Shaky legs are another story.
During the course of my first two songs, despite my experience, despite the fact I was singing for some lovely older folk who wouldn’t judge if I hit a note a semi-tone too sharp, my legs shook.
We’re talking the uncontrollable, bodily vibrations that meerkats make when they’re dancing the Hula Hula. (See The Lion King for more clarification.)
The most interesting thing about having your legs do the Hula Hula while you’re singing in a concert is the internal conversation you have with your knee caps.
Psss. Quit shaking.
Seriously, stop it. It’s distracting.
Everyone’s looking at us!
Hey, I’m trying to hit a G here.
Dude, you’re Hula Hulaing is messing up my vocals.
Ohmygosh. You are SO embarrassing.
Right, that’s it. No more body lotion for you for a month.
I. Mean. It.
If you ever wondered what a conversation with your knobbly knobblies might sound like, it sounds like that.
Add some Hakuna Matata and you’re on the money.
If you’ve ever wondered what your knobby knobblies look like doing the Hula Hula, let me introduce the master:
xx Trouser Girl