Family · The Girl in Trousers

How To Talk Baby Like Pro

Two things happen when I’m tired.

Scenario A: I’ve been deprived of my recommended eight hours Z time, have stay up beyond the time a decent sleep-loving person should (typically, 9.30 p.m.), and have moved into the land of the coffeeless-zombie. In my case, it really is coffeeless, since I don’t drink coffee, so my only excuse is a deep psychological connection with my inner granny.

By the time I’ve reached this stage, my vocal chords have stopped vibrating and my facial expressions have packed up shop.

It’s best not to try to talk to me. I won’t remember our conversation.

Scenario B is not as intense. It involving less sleep deprivation, where my past four-year-old child takes possession of my body and laughs hysterically at jokes involving farting or recycled toilet paper.

The conversation I’m about to share with you can’t be attributed to either of these scenarios. It’s just straight up juvenile.

Please don’t tell my mum.

She believes she’s raised a mature adult.

20141007-213953.jpgEmbrace the baby within you, sis.

20141007-214000.jpgYou’ll sleep better and have less wrinkles when you’re a granny.

20141007-214009.jpgAnd if this doesn’t help…

20141007-214022.jpgA Fish Face will!

One thought on “How To Talk Baby Like Pro

  1. Sorry, kiddo, have often wondered when the maturity finally sets in? I see there is still a few more years to go. Your MUM

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