Family · The Girl in Trousers

Arabians and Diarrhea

Yesterday morning, before the school bell, my younger sister stopped by my house, in need of commandeering my camera for a class project. She wanted a photo with an Arabian twist, featuring her face and the textured design on her hand.

When she arrived, she barreled in as spritely and springy as a rainbow painted unicorn on a sparkly pogo stick.

Now this may be because she’s secretly a hypo chimpanzee on red cordial disguised as a human girl having infiltrating my family sixteen years ago using high tech chimpanzee hologram technology.

*Deep breath*

Or maybe it’s because she was running late for school.

Personally, I find the former explanation more believable.

IMG_6250While she was jumping around displaying suspicious monkey characteristics, I was hobbling like a peg-legged horse, recovering from food poison.

The peg-legged horse is the metaphorical part of that sentence. The food poisoning is the veritable part.

While we’re on the subject. Ever seen a peg-legged horse?

Next time I get food poisoning, I’ll snap a photo for ya.

IMG_6245I can’t say my creative zip-zam was zip-zamming anything amazing yesterday morning.

I blame the stomach cramps, the aunty of all headaches, the fever, and the hours I spent sleeping beside my pink toilet bowl awaiting the dry wrench summons of my stomach.

In all seriousness though, the fastest way to lose one’s zip-zam is a combination of all above and one other thing.

Diarrhea.

Eerrk.

I believe in now leaving your imaginations to fill in the blanks.

IMG_6252So when you consider the above, really, it was a miracle I could hit the shuttle button and capture my Arabian parading, red cordial drinking, chimpanzee sibling at all!

Farewell.

xx The Unwell One

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