It’s quite possible that in this crazy, insane week before Christmas, you might be feeling one of the following things:
a) Dazed or Bewildered – ‘Whatever will I cook for fifty plus people on Christmas?’
b) Stressed or Anxious – ‘However will I keep fifty-plus people entertained???’
c) Overcome or Drowned – ‘Whatever will I buy as presents for fifty odd people?????’
d) Bald or Murderous:
This scenario has two parts to it.
Firstly, you could be bald because you’ve pulled all your hair out because you’ve been dazed or bewildered, stressed or anxious, overcome or drowned. In which case, I’m imagine you’re running around all the wig shops trying to find the perfect wig for the day you have fifty-plus people land on your door.
Secondly, you might be feeling murderous…well, because you’re hop lopping mad – ‘Watch out whoever said it was a good idea to invite fifty–darn-plus people on Christmas day — CAUSE I’M GOING TO KILL THEM!!!’
I could be completely, entirely, abso-dapsly incorrect about all this. Maybe like me, you’ve never attended a Christmas dinner or lunch with more than twelve people so the above emotions have slid off you like jelly down a raincoat. Although I’ve never personally experienced such a dilemma, I like to think about those of us running around in emotional bald tornadoes.
My heart goes out to you.
I sympathize with your plight.
I know a really good wig shop.
Better yet, I know a really cool kid who never fails to put hair back on my head and keep me young. I thought I’d give you some respite from the Christmas madness and share six of Munchkin’s most serious faces.
The Closed-Lip Frowny-Smiley Face
The Poke Grass Up My Nose Face
The Deadpan Ohhhhing Face
The ‘Ello, I Am Monsieur Poirot’ Face
The Sloopy Lip and Nostril Face
If none of these faces help, I can only impart a piece of concrete solid reassurance to your Christmas frantic dilemma:
‘She’ll be over soon, mate.’
And if that doesn’t help…
You could always try eating grass.
xx Trouser Girl