The Great Mud Fall

I’ve unearthed a poem I wrote some years ago back in the days when my poetry was mildly crazy, slightly out of rhythm and often filled with words you won’t find in the dictionary.

Well, okay. My poetry is still mildly crazy, out of rhythm and filled with non-existent words.

I wonder what that says about my progress…

Anyhoo. This, like many of my witty pearls of astonishingly extraordinary wisdom, was inspired by my grandfather who had me in stitches of laughter one afternoon. It was too good a story to leave untold and just the kind of silly humour my poetry fairy loves.

The Great Mud Fall

My Grandpa told a muddy tale
Last week when I was over
He chopped a tree he didn’t want
And threw it in the river
He dragged the tree and had to walk
Out on some fall logs
He wobbled as he balanced out
Unsteady were his nogs
He took his aim and tried to throw
That nuisance of a tree
But stumbled back and landed flat
In mud and mangrove sea
He tried to roll and found himself
Stretched out, immersed in mud
He wondered when the tide was due
And hoped he’d float the flood
For stuck he was and stuck he felt
And tricky was his state
For when your body creeks and groans
With this you will relate
He thought of shouting, ‘Help! I’m stuck!’
But Grandma was away
‘Just as well,’ my Grandpa thought
‘She’d laugh and say ‘Hooray!”
And so my Grandpa lay just there
With thoughts of his wet burial
No more gardening, taking naps
Or eating Weet-Bix cereal
‘This is it,’ he said, ‘old chap
We’ll finally meet the Maker
I’m gonna miss Kate’s great Anzacs
I hope He has a baker.’
But this is not the closing line
For Grandpa found his feet
And when Grandma came through the door
Wet clothes there she did meet
You probably think I’ve made this up
A fiction piece quite clever
But it’s all true, cross my heart
I never lie, not ever!
For all is faithfully narrated
Just ask my Grandpa so
It is the tale The Great Mud Fall
Down where the mangroves grow


May you write at least one silly poem in your lifetime with the word ‘nogs’,
xx The Girl in Trousers

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