Confessions

Chauffeurs and Melting Witches

1. First things first, a new section is coming to my blog.

I’ve been a writing scribbler since I was ten, thinking up stories and such. This week I’ve been madly writing three chapters of three different stories. It was primarily for a little writing magazine I’m putting together for my mum and sister, but I thought I’d stick them on here.

If you don’t like fiction, that’s fine. Don’t read them.

If you do, my chapters are coming to the blog very soon!

2. I now have my own personal chauffeur.

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And am realizing how fun it is. I sit back and get to sightsee and la di da from the passenger seat. My chauffeur is only sixteen with L plates but he’s keen to get his hours up for his license. This, of course, means he’s ready to drive me around like a lady of luxury.

I’ve been practicing my wave.

I’m just wanting for my screaming fans.

3. I’m auditioning for the Wicked Witch role in The Wizard of Oz.

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I have the part down like nobody’s business. I’ve even been practicing the whole melting-into-nothing scene too. With the heat wave we had last week, I’ve had plenty of practice. I swear I sweated a river. Is sweated a word?

Oh well. It is now.

Sweating a river is just the kind of stunt practice I need for my Oz role. Because, as everyone knows, the Wicked Witch had an over-active sweat gland and melted into a puddle of sweat.

I’m pretty sure you could have cooked an egg, three sausages and some tomato on my head last week.

I’m just saying.

4. I’m also practicing my evil laugh.

For my audition. With my evil laugh and melting act, they’re not gonna be able to turn me done.

Mwahahaha!!

Waddiya think?

Pretty evil, huh.

5. The boss is back from vacation.

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Which means we’ll be on new job sites and I’ll have new work stories to tell.

Which also means you’ll be seeing more of my amazing photography. Of plants, and cloubs and ah…lizards and things! I know you’ve been hankering for them.

6. Speaking of work stories….

This morning I sorta kinda pulled a gymnastic stunt on a roof. You know how these things are. I’m on the roof. The roof is sort of slippery. And me being the totally co-ordinate person I am. Well, just for fun, I did the splits. It was Olympic material. The only reason the crowd wasn’t screaming approval was because it was kind of an accident.

So there was just me. And I was moaning, ‘Ochy, mama…’

Yeah. It’s been awhile since my last gymnastic stretching session.

Have a terrific Monday!

xx The Girl in Trousers.

One thought on “Chauffeurs and Melting Witches

  1. Great to see you back on air with some more entertaining stories. What a girl of talent!!! Photographer, Athletic Gymnast, Actress, Writer!!! No wonder you need to be chauffeured….you’re a celebrity to boot.

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