Country Life · The Girl in Trousers

Screaming Girls and Cold Bloods

I was snapping photos in my lunch break today.

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You know how I am.

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Ever the industrious tradie.

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Methodical.

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Outrageously focused.

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By the books.

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Perpetually on duty.

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A tradie whose attention never wanders…

I saw that. Your eyebrows have no earthly reason for being raised.

None.

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So I was happily snapping away and thought I may as well stop and use a land tarner flower as a photo subject. Even if it’s one of the most prolific weeds on every open acreage of Australian soil. Including my parents’, on whose property I was working on today.

And after kneeling in the grass for five minutes or so I happened to look down.

Call it my super, ever-on-the-job, never-betray-me second sense.

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This…

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…was two inches from my boot.

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Mr Carpet Snake kinda, nearly, sorta made me scream.

Except I don’t scream. Screaming is for girls.

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So instead I kinda, nearly, sorta squealed.

And scrambled back.

And nearly fell on my bottom.

Which would have hurt. Cos I’m tall and its a known fact that tall people have further to fall on their bottoms.

Mr Carpet Snake’s head was buried in the grass when I first saw him, but if I had of been able to see his face, I’m pretty sure it would have worn a bored expression.

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Something that said,

‘Humans…’

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It must have been my day for scaly reptiles. These two kept ducking in and out from under this step every time I past them.

They were cute.

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So I named them.

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Bill…

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And Ben.

The Step Lizard Men.

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I know. I’m incredibly talented at lizard naming.

It’s a gift of mine.

May your days be as eventful as mine,

xx Love The Girl in Trousers.

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