Confessions · The Girl in Trousers

The Wardrobe Game

If you’re apart of the group of female species that adore the horror show of shopping, understand how to navigate the make-up aisle, and have the happy stamina of wearing four inch heels without painkillers, stop reading.

That’s because I’m scared you might want to stone me in a public place.

I like clothes, really I do. I like cutting off the price tag and proudly adding a new dress or shirt to my modest collection. I just detest shopping, but that’s a confession for another time.

I also detest modeling thirty different outfits in the time it takes me to update my diary, clean the house, do the laundry, read a book and play my guitar. Thirty outfits vs five productive, purposeful tasks. I’m sorry but cleaning the house wins.

A few weeks ago I was running late. My morning modeling career had gotten out of hand and was on the verge of hysteria. My hair wasn’t brushed, my freckles were naked, and I was about to miss my ride. I abhor being late and that’s the moment I jailed my inner Miranda Kerr and invented the Wardrobe Game.

The rules are simple:

1. When you’re getting ready to get dressed, you have to sit in front of your wardrobe and look. That is to say, open your cupboard doors and eyeball your garments. ONLY look though. No touching, feeling, parading or despairing allowed.
2. In your mind’s eye create an outfit. Once you’ve made up your mind, try it on.
3. If you’re not satisfied, sit back down and repeat step 3.

This game will hopefully teach you three things. Firstly, to THINK, not guess, waste time or become a psycho cross-dresser. Secondly, what colours, styles and fabrics go together. And thirdly, that vanity is the sidekick of the proverbial hare and we all know how his famous runway strut ended.

Before I go there is one last rule for the Wardrobe Game. Three strikes and you’re walking out with whatever you decided for your third outfit. You only get three tries.

Make me proud.

One thought on “The Wardrobe Game

  1. Another witty piece of writing Kate…I can’t help but have a good laugh picturing you there playing the ‘wardrobe game’. I’m sure you’ll become quite an expert at making quick decisions concerning the old saying that spans all time…”Now what shall I wear?” Alison

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